Love isn’t for Valentine’s Day only

It’s no doubt that I’m a big fan of Bo Sanchez and one of the best topics he has touched on is about finding the so-called one true love. He has even wrote a book about it. Why? Because he wants to help build strong families and the best way to do so is to start from the beginning. He wants to help single men and women to choose well in finding a suitable partner.

In an episode of Preacher in Blue Jeans way back in December of 2006, he shared his thoughts about finding a suitable partner to a bunch of young, single people and although Valentine’s Day is over, I think the subject in itself is not bound by any occasion. Here are my notes as I watched and listened to him (If you join KerygmaFamily.com, then, you’ll have the chance to fully access the episode or even download an mp3 version of it.):

1. Take responsibility for your future. Do not leave that to chance/fate. Do not over-spiritualize. Do not give to God the responsibility that he gave you in the first place. Options are limited.

For example,  a woman sits on the sofa doing nothing/watching TV yet prays for a husband. Chances are she will be limited to 4 persons: the electricity bill collector, the phone bill collector, the mailman and the pizza delivery boy. But that same person will go great lengths in buying a pair of shoes.

Many times we choose our shoes with greater care and scrutiny than we choose our husband or wife.

2. Single men and women want to get married but their schedules are bound by routine. Most of them go to work and afterwards, head straight home although occasionally have time for prayer meetings or church but nothing goes beyond.

When these people are at home, oftentimes, they watch TV and in between commercial breaks, raid the refridgerator and eat, then back to the TV again. The thing is, the area between the TV and the ref, there are very few potential husbands (or wives) in that area.

CIRCULATE.

The problem is, if that same woman sitting in the sofa, not leaving the house, praying, “Lord, give me a husband,” and meets someone, she will immediately get the opportunity to get into a relationship with that man thinking he is the one God had chosen for her. However, in instances like finding out that this man turned out to be a violent bum or an abusive person, that woman would tend to think that she is destined to evangelize or change that person through her love. THAT’S SUICIDE.

THE MOST MISERABLE CREATURES ON PLANET EARTH = MARRIED PEOPLE WHO MARRIED THE WRONG PERSON

If you marry a violent person, or an alcoholic, or a gambler, a philanderer, an unfaithful person, it will only magnify what is already there. A wedding does not change anyone. It magnifies the weakness of the person because it’s adding to the responsibility.

USE YOUR MIND. USE YOUR INTELLECT. USE YOUR ELDERS. USE YOUR GROUP LEADERS. DO NOT JUST TRUST YOUR OWN JUDGMENT. GET A TEAM OF PEOPLE WHO WILL JOIN YOU IN PRAYING THAT YOU EACH FIND YOUR RIGHT PARTNER AS WELL AS BE EACH OTHER’S FEEDBACK.

3. CAN WOMEN MAKE THE FIRST STEP? – IF YOU CAN AVOID IT, AVOID IT FOR MEN GENETICALLY ARE CREATURES THAT LOVE TO HUNT. Men like to hunt since cavetimes.

If a single woman approaches a man and says, “I like you”, he will be flattered that somebody likes him. But study his eyes and his eyes are wandering, looking for prey beneath the bushes because it came too easy, he did not hunt. However, most men are coward hunters. Most men are afraid of rejection.

Women, learn the skill of giving him the look: “Just maybe…should you decide to pursue me, you may achieve great success.”

Remain mysterious for the guy if you want them to be attracted to you.

4. MEN, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE WHOLE COURTSHIP PROCESS.

Men, if you want the women to be attracted to you, do the hunting, be agressive, be assertive, find out what you want and go for it.

If a woman rejects you, be a man and keep at it. For how long, it’s up to you. If she’s already engaged, give up. If you see someone close to her, give up. However, if she parts ways with the other guy, then pursue. But don’t be a pest.

Well, I hope you learned a thing or two here. Honestly, that video/talk helped me a lot as far as my love life is concerned.

Sometimes…It is Okay to Give Up

“MERALCO ka lang, hindi ka NAPOCOR…kable ka lang sa poste ng kuryente..”                                                            —  Bo Sanchez on “How to Love Difficult People”

Those words have been my life mantra in the last 2 years alongside serious contemplation of whether to let go of someone that had been a part of my life yet had been too hard to handle. Many people have been asking me if lay Catholic preacher, Bo Sanchez did really say those words and what he meant by that. My answer is yes and you won’t be able to hear where and when exactly did he say them unless you join his Kerygma Family online community. But for the benefit of non-members, I’ll give a short explanation in the best way I can.

Difficult people. I bet everyone of us has their own share of them. They can be the most demanding and nagging persons, or they tend to blame everything to you or criticize your every move with the foulest mouths, or somebody ungrateful to what you’ve done or somebody utterly stubborn or anyone who do cringe-inducing things that makes them a pain in the neck.

But why love these people? Well, it’s a commandment: Love your neighbor – even if they are really more worthy of our loathing. Tough isn’t it? But these guys desperately need the love and attention of people willing to listen and understand why they are like that. Also, consider them as blessings too. Because God will not give them to you if He doesn’t have a plan for you. 

Say for instance, your demanding boss who have been nagging you here and there is actually a way for you to improve your patience meter or a means for you to quit your job so that you may be able to look for greener pastures. Another example could be like a female friend keeps on calling you at night because she is depressed about her bad break up from her boyfriend. Although you hate your sleep being interrupted, your sparing of some time just to talk to her is actually helping her release the pain and stopping her from doing or even thinking about doing bad things like committing suicide.

However, if in situations that you have already exhausted all the means to help or show your love that difficult person and the response is not equated or surpassed by what you have done, this is the time we back-out and give up so that other people may be able to help him/her. You have done your part, you can only do so much. Remember that they are blessings from God and let Him decide who should receive them next. As for you, allow God to recharge your energies.

In short, as the National Power Corporation (NAPOCOR) provides the electricity that the Manila Electric Company (MERALCO) distributes in Metro Manila and surrounding provinces, God, on the other hand, is the key source of our love and strength and we are his distributors of that same love and strength to the people who needed them most.